RIP

The death of a president births new life in me

His legacy, a seeds embeds in me

My new dream an embryo that urges me to throw up toxidity

I need an empty mind to carry through this pregnancy

9months I'll carry him in my abdomen 

His whole life he'll be cradled in my mind 

The wisdom I acquire now

Will shape his future

All he'll have to do is respect me to be blessed 

I'll rear him from an embryo to a monarch

Head of a democracy in need of a king to lead them to divinity

The death of a king births new life in me

An animate desire that after hours of labor my sons heart will beat against mine in a rhythm befitting only that of royalty

Displaying nothing less than bravery

As he grows he shall know nothing than to be virtuous

Be virtuous in order to be a king

Be virtuous in order to be president

SUGAR DADDY

No matter what the sun will shine

And though it isn't mine

I unwrap it every morning and put the bow aside 

Peaking again into the box to see what else's inside 

In the gift box of my life 

I no longer see necessity in checking for the sender 

I only ever had one real sponsor

My sugar daddy 

Literally coz he's so sweet he made my sin rot 

Washed off with live blood 

But kept by my stubborn ways in my mind's pot 

Slowly stewing away in It's decay waiting for me to dip into when I loose my way

My heart, I easily can give away but my mind's a constitution in lack of democracy

Everything else in me roots for a monarchy under the living king 

But my mind's under It's own kind of tyranny 

Psychologically, we all have a bit of a split personality 

Laugh till you cry out the tears of your agony

But I can't be Luke warm and still live eternally

So externally I try to do by him what's right

And rob my flesh of its desires until one day he cures my mind

Lonely Hearts Ad

Dear Jesus
I am 21 still very young, I am 5'6'' which is about average

and since the age of six

I've wanted nothing more than to be married
There, I said it!
I know it just sounds stupid
And I'm not sure if I was exactly six
But I remember that I'd sit
With my red, yellow and blue crayola sticks
And draw
I never liked felt tips
They were too hard to correct if something went wrong
I'd draw dresses or centre pieces whilst humming some cartoon network theme tune
Usually Simpsons
It's what I'd watch with mum
On a Saturday morn
When she didn't have work
I imagined people doing the macarena at my reception
I thought I'd always be as skinny as I was at seven
Fit into that dress I saw on tv at age eleven
But what I thought would really be heaven is marriage itself
I had to imagine
Because we rarely ever see a good marriage
But it mattered none
No Genie in a bottle but I wished for one
Didn't realise there's work that needed done
Somehow through the years 
I was never told that love had to be learned
I know how to cook and clean
Though the latter I enjoy not in the least
I know how to deal with sticky situations
Say please and thank you with a smile
And I'm expert at how to bathe, feed and put a new born down to sleep
I had protocol down to the dot
But with all this drive 
To succeed early in life 
I must have left emotion in the blind spot
I kid you not
I don't do this on purpose
I don't intentionally hurt us
Me and my heart that is
Can you explain to me Jesus
Why whether I love or I don't
I still end up alone?
I pray for the one
And get a thousand and some Suitors
Seeds I could never bear fruit off
I'm too tough they say so I try to be soft 
'Yes baby I love you!'
But in my mind it just feels odd
At some point I gave up on my odds
Thought I'd keep the devil I know and make him into god
Do things I know aren't right
Ignoring Christ
When there's trouble in paradise
I went on to settle with the one in a haste for a wife
The one with a deadline
The one in search for miss right ....now!
And there I was in the lost and found
No longer the auction house
And I was glad
At least until the day he found the necessity to make me feel bad for being smart
Intellect was never his criteria to love me
It was just about availability
And he made me believe
That knowledge equals power and power equals evil

and we weren't in London but we were in Eden

and of the forbidden fruit I had eaten

but he won't let me deceive him

 for I was now rotten and of wrong or right I still knew nothing
To him I was jezebels offspring
So I stopped speaking
But to him my lack of speech
Was a scheme to leave him
And in all honesty that was true
Whilst with him I found something new
A love I never really understood
Because I know nobody likes to haggle over broken goods
So you paid the highest price 
And I know I'll never find a man quite as nice
But I still want little more than to be a wife
And now I know to get there I must serve you right 
After all, above all as your church I am your own bride
With your blood the deed you signed
Then you told me to go off and multiply
So whoever’s rib it is I have in my side
I know you'll let me know in due time
So as much as I have tried to deny that yearning deep inside I just hope you don't close
Your omnipresent eyes
When I pray 
That you show me a way to 
Be successfully faithful 
To you
Up to and after the day that I say my I dos

HERITAGE

They look at my last name and wonder where I come from 
I'm surprised at their ignorance
Like don't you see my crown son?
I come from a place where the sun's fury never seizes
Nevertheless everybody knows what a breeze is
It's what you catch 
When your days work is done
And you can relax
I'm from a place where 
Frogs don't run during day without a reason
Where the chick dances for the hawk but it doesn't please him
Where you don't ask who weaved a net when there's a spider in the room
Where 'aboa bi b3 ka wo a,  na 3fri wo ntoma mu'
Well, actually, it could have been from that bountiful land you just ploughed
As where I'm from the womb of our ground is well endowed
It bares us children 
but then we mutilate them 
In the name of protection
Against home made gods 
Even we don't trust
does that even make sense to us
You may not get it but I kinda understand
Yes I know my fathers, old habits are hard to ban
But we cant
Keep letting them dictate our lives
Rather than dedicate our lives to the one up high
I'm from a place where the children smile through their adversity
And our women stand strong for what they believe
Unfortunately only until the road gets too hard to hit it running
Desperate times call for desperate measures 
And everybody measures money
Even if it is against morality
And usually it looses
But I pray that people that value cash that much will stay a minority
That freedom and justice will remain our legacy
Especially the justice
Because the lack of it
Really bothers me
And I pray this through the Christ that strengthens me
Who actually is my father
So as an ashanti, naturally,
I take to his part of the family
So really if you ask me where I'm from
I should say 'the place that Jesus Christ my lord calls home'

GHOST

I like both sides empty coz I like to sleep diagonally

ironically I never move in my sleep

just when i'm awake

when I get back to consciousness

and realise the other side is cold

like the opposite of committed

one is the loneliest number

and so am I

why call mine when i'll come running back to them

my zeros who make me feel like less of a dime

and more of a ten

because when their around I can pretend

that I love someone other than God and that im on the mend

but im not

I dont even love the most high the way I should coz if I only would

I wouldn't be in this fucked up mood

I would have loved those who loved me and my enemies too

I wouldnt have fucked them up emotionally at every chance I got to

but its all good coz i'm suffering the repercussions

and its only fair right

karma is a bitch

but a whore can be an angel until you fuck with her right?

I layed my bed and that heffer's still in it

on that other side thats now unoccupied

i'm sleeping with a ghost but still I get no high

from the imaginary float I swim on just to get by

Havisham effect

Miss havisham
Nothing without you
I'm the ghost of a bride
And the ghost of good virtue
I'm empty
There but not quite
I'm the air that's required
For you to live
But you don't need me
You're just as much a ghost as I've been
Something I like to imagine
A fabrication of my not existing mind
The one I lost
No the one I placed in a box along with my heart
On which I placed your address underneath the stamp
Which I licked so you could have some of my dna
And understand what I'm made of
The desire to be yours
So I set myself ablaze
I burn this girl so she can rest with you in hell
Where you'll be going
Whilst I rejuvenate myself
Make like a phoenix and rebirth all of my cells
Without the membranes that imprisoned my true self
So I stand by as the rising smoke twirls that river of white into the air
Swallowing it up
And then suddenly its done
Miss havisham is dead And I am free to run

God's debut

So I never write about god

because the mere process of comprehension

escapes me every time I attempt it

I’m so much better at crying, lamenting

desiring

for his appearance

that I never consider the dire possibility

of the logically unlikely scenario

where he might require me

to utilise the gift he did invest in me

to demonstrate his wisdom and mercies

because who am I to deserve this

who am I to be deemed fit

to declare and decree this

that rather than fists guns and knives

its his name that we should lift

cos its through him that we do live

and its through him that I can give life

in abundance

through deliverance

of I and others

by you who saved us

from sin that would have otherwise enslaved us

stripped us and pinned us

with three large nails to the cross we call world

the world that so urgently craves us

that so badly wants to claim us

and lame us

puts thoughts that ain’t ours in our heads

and then frames us

makes us lie to ourselves

saying we are what we are

whilst we forget he who made us

when we forget of his presence

when in actual fact the entire essence

of why we live is him

it was he who made us so we die

when we don’t breathe in

as it was his breath that woke us

its his heart that calls us

to dine with him

in the presence of our enemies

can I get another cup please

as mine is over flowing

he’s blessed me so much

I cant do much else than to adore him

so if my words fail me

I beg of you don’t blame me

i'm sorry

but if you knew my god as well

as I do

you’d be lost for words too