words are probably the only way i know to express myself. i believe in certain ways i am defined by the things i say and how i say them. from where i originate from to the level of education i have achieved, its all very much obvious when i say things in certain ways. however certain things are rather left unsaid and really cant be expressed as unambiguously as others and that is when i realised myself as a 'writer'. i am able to put emotions which i may not be able to talk about onto paper in the most beautiful and inspiring way as well as telling stories very effectively. sometimes its amusing and sometimes its tear jerking but i love my skill and just want to share it. when i was younger i always wanted to be superstar like every other little girl but it turns out that maybe that just isnt meant to be and so i write about everything else that goes on in my ever so dramatic life. i hope you appreciate me sharing my ~WORDS~ with you and that you are inspired. x

Monday, 14 November 2011

BYE BYE BIRDY

Bye bye birdie

I guess I gotta let you fly birdie

up up high in the sky

and never look back on me birdie

I let you go remember

took the clips from your wings

and let you grow remember

you don’t remember?

Birdie don’t be silly

of course I love your singing

I loved the way you loved me

even though you never did it right

I loved the way your night song touched me

even though our harmonies weren't all that tight

but now you gotta go out there

find a girl with feathers

not with kinky hair

one that can and will hatch you an egg

one that'll build you all a nest

but that ain’t me

I ain’t got a beak

or the capability

to really make you happy

so fly birdie

fly fly high birdie

up into the sky birdie

and ill stay here

I realize were not the same

and frankly I’m tired of this tiring game

of charades

where I act a fool

which would be fine

if only you could guess the clues

but you never do

so we always loose

because the sand has run out on that tiny little clock

that we never even use

because we can never agree to

so once again my birdie

I wish you bye bye

my hearts too low honey

your homes in the sky

I cant really cry

but the tears flow anyway

and I wave coz I’ve run out of words to say

although I know by now you’re too far up to see any of it either way

Saturday, 12 November 2011

XX

Women

Beside the general labour and the regular shedding of blood

Women are the backbone of the world

We are a product of divine creation which can have both its pros and cons

We are known to accomplish the most amazing things ever spoken with any tongue

From bringing to the world the son of god

To bringing down the greatest of lords

But what if it we didn’t exist

What if Adam hadn’t involuntarily sacrificed that rib?

Where would we be without our mother eve?

Where would we be without the mother and sister of Moses who made sure he lived?

Which resulted in him freeing all Israelites from Egypt?

What would we do without the kind of love Ruth had for her mother in law

To follow her and lie wherever she might fall

Or the courage of the Samaritan woman at the well who dared to question jesus

And ask if his water really could quench all thirsts

What would we do without the resilience of a woman such as Mary Magdalene?

Whose devotion to Jesus was said to be a curse to him

What would we do without the faith of a woman like Mary mother of Jesus?

Who gave birth to the only son of god who had come to save us

What would we do without every mother,sister,grandma,auntie,good friend or wife

Would you be the same if they were not in your life

We may not be perfect in the eyes of man as we have many ways to offend him

But to our god we are ideal

For we are the perfect tools in working



Monday, 7 November 2011

Tit for tat

Tit for tat

whatever you might do ill do you back

forgiveness? HA

who wudda taught me that?

you grant me no attention

like we on some emotional recession

and then still expect

that I exempt

myself from the things that you find wrong

ha! who said I was that dumb

to let you walk over me

take away the liberty

of me making choices rationally

who said that I was that stupid

to love you unconditionally

nah never that

that just ain’t right

and trust i'm gonna put up a damn good fight

i'm gonna go out party, drink and flirt

ignore the way my heart still hurts

ill make others fall in love with me

make them give me all the things I think I need

and then ill slowly break their heart you'll see

I’ll play them just according to the game

ill play them hard, you know ill get my fame

you’ll hear my name wherever you may go

I don’t care that what they say is murder to my soul

I don’t care coz you started all this after all

coz you said I was too difficult

them guys at the bar sure don’t think so

you make me fall in love with you

and then you just ignore me

what? Did you think I’d put up with that malarkey?

Nah mate ill be sure to pay you back

make you cry by making my own self look bad

at least I thought I could

I thought by destroying myself on your account

it’ll all be fair

I thought it'll be tit for tat

to bad you actually really didn’t care



Sunday, 30 October 2011

Paranormal

i'm more than human
i'm a woman
i am life
i am more than a woman
i'm a queen
so i stride
i am more than a queen
i'm a rib
from your side
i am more than just a rib
i'm a tool
to your height
i am more than just a tool
i'm the iris to your sight
i am everything you need
but you wont see me out of fright
i might just be the tiny light
at the end of your tunnel
ain't it funny
how i rule thee
yet still you deny my might

Wednesday, 13 July 2011

next to the cooking stove (outing)

The mistakes she did will follow her to the grave

there they'll be safe

maybe there she can scream

when she remembers how he touched her

better yet its they

maybe it was her fault

certainly it was

a man cant be blamed for his libido

she had her lonely self to trust

when you are 8 you know its wrong

at 14 its more like the lemons life threw at you

make lemonade

make money

make favours

make everything you can to hide the failure of your rebellion

she finds someone to give your heart to so you no longer feel the ache

so when she bleeds she does not feel the pain

she don’t take it back when its over so she's never really lamed

by emotions but then the lack of it catches up to her head

catches up to her cognitive ability to forget and repress

the memories she'd rather die than address

she sits there wondering why she cant love anyone

but its anyone including her own blemished mind that cant love her

she refuses to

she would tell any other girl it weren’t her fault

but she is an exception

in her book she asked for the deception

and its repercussions

of never being able to put a sentiment

to anything as intimate

as that which was used against her

so she lives in exile in the midst of people but outside of love

wishing back the girl that drew her wedding dress at 5 years old

on the kitchen floor next to the cooking stove

Thursday, 7 July 2011

MR MOON

0520...she would have started earlier but her mischievous laptop was in dire need of a reboot, according to HP maintenance support, and she didn't want to risk it. Though all she wanted to do at this point was to just pour words on a virtual, digitally produced imposter of the A4 sheet of paper, she knew that doing this effectively required her laptop to function in an orderly manner.

She sits up off her single bed, which is very much so, and as she leans against the wall behind her she slowly tucks her fingers behind the curtains of the window which is just adjacent to her bed and and pushes them away in such a paced and elegant manner one would think she was concerned about chipping one of her badly manicured finger nails. She tilts her head towards the right in order to see past the side edge of the double glazed window slightly misted by fog outside. There he is, she knew he would be there. She knew because he always is but even with that in mind she awed at his beauty. She stared at the slightly uneven but still very round cluster of silver in the sky. tonight he is more luminescent than she can ever remember seeing him. Anxiously she pulls the curtains close again, but only a little to hide herself. As if he could see her, catch her in her perverse act of staring at an unaware bright shining mass floating in the sky on a clear night, and of course he can see her. She smiles at him and looks around shyly... it looks like there is nobody around in the world but she and him. Not even the stars came out to disturb their little love affair.

She closes the curtain and slides in deeper under her quilt, all of a sudden she doesn't need to write. She feels completely satisfied by her little date with the moon, a strange rush flows to her head urging her to tear down her curtains and just let him shine in, just let him keep her company until he has to go and she can finally sleep. No . She un-tucks her miniature fingers from behind the curtains.

Quickly her mind wanders towards her towards her new found love. To her, it was the love which was new, not he. She feels bad 'how lonely he will feel without me watching him and waiting with him till he has to go'. Soon, her nights will consist of things which normal people do at night. She wonders if he'd be jealous. What he don't see cant hurt him. She decides to get herself much thicker curtains. She imagines herself actually sleeping because that is all she can do. She'd forgotten what it felt like but it was worth it.

0600 hrs. she can see short orange rays on the horizon and she knows they will grow very fast.

Again she peaks outside the window, he is still there, but not for long. Soon he will disappear for hours and even sooner I wont be there to appreciate him when hes there.

'goodnight my dear' she yawns with despair 'goodnight and i'll miss you'

words she would never say to anyone who could reciprocate but the moon makes it worth it

Monday, 21 March 2011

a continuation to penny

But even pennies know their values

and i'm unsure of mine

adding to your 99

thats it

a completion to your life

something to fill your hollow spots inside

but i'd rather not object

due to a fear I cant reject

but everyday I seize to

be of any proper value

to anything in my view

intelligence doesn't count, you see

coz you'd never listen when I speak

sometimes with your ears maybe

but not your mind coz that's too deep

too good for me

cz mine just functions differently

coz am as odd as a penny

always seeing me for what I could be

not for what I am

how you can make me more

not for what I stand for

the fact that i'm a fortune

a treasure in the sand

a dream come true at the bottom of a well

the beginning of a life in a childs little hand

but you wont see that

though beauty isn't just skin deep

trying to make me a little less of a penny

and most times you succeed

Saturday, 15 January 2011

wondering

Wondering about the hearts i'll have to break to mend my own

wondering how long it's gonna take to bring him home

wondering when next i'll feel his warming touch

wondering when next he's gonna make me blush

wondering where from this familiarity

wondering how long I can do this make believe

wondering how long

my hot blooded hands are holding on

to this icy feeling oh so strong

wondering what makes me think

this is any different

many a' times i've been right here

just waiting to be killed by spear

emotionally, horizontally

right through my heart

while my mind still works hyper-actively

to concuct my demise

to uphold my disguise

as being a woman although i'm a child

but not in the streets coz in them I am wise

wondering why i'm pondering at all

over something I just have no control

wondering if he sees into my soul

wondering if he's learnt what I ignore

wondering if he'll be hasty in his step

and grab what he can get