sick

their round concaved pits enslave my life

without them

i have none

they save me from a a lot of pain

without them i'd be gone

but even though these brave little soldiers fight to keep me going

push to keep them flowing, they still fail

i watch my life pass by every time i feel those contractions

i hold my back

throw my body back and hope that was the last one

hope that i am done, hope that i am gone!

**

I need you to love me so that i know how to
I need you to love me so i don’t feel like a complete fool
For being who i am

And not like you

Like everybody else
That looks down on me for not loving my self
for detesting my own reflection in the mirror
which i paint pink to make all rosy
but still i’ll never be cosy
in my own skin

Penny

The things you do are like taking my entire existence talent, beauty, intellect and putting it in the same box with a penny.

You put me there and tell me i am of equal worth...with a penny.

A piece of metal just 19mm in diameter made of zinc, poisonous to man, thinly coated with copper, the least expensive of rare metals.

I am a penny, something that on its own acquires nothing but itself and takes space in places without purpose.

I am a penny coz you never tell me otherwise

I am a penny coz you said so

but it hurts though...

to think that you see, no more than a penny in me.

trojan horses

when your self just settles into a tranquil calm

when you feel comfortable in your own arms

when you find the line from where to start

you are ambushed...

your heart unfolds and falls apart

and scattered all across your hopes creates a piece of hurtful art

when serenity just starts to settle in

that's when myself displays its sin

i've lived my life to extend my mind

but i hardly know my body

i hardly no no-body

MY MINDS CAPTIVE

my mind refuses to let me assume

refuses to let me resume

to my ways of d past

where i made decisions concerning my heart

without being asked.

when i decided to read rather than listen

and was oblivious to what i was missing.

though ignorance still lives in me its rather towards whatever i may feel.

towards whatever i may steal

from their swollen chests as they rest on mine,

but its only really a matter of time

till i escape away from my own mind

***

a little bit of some prose i have been writing...it hasnt got a title coz am not sure how it will end yet =3

I dont remember being afraid of anything, not when I was at home anyway. Memory reminds me though I once found a scorpion in the dryer part of my (then) nearby forest. I was on my way back from the very involuntary walk I had to take every morning to the stream to fetch water. I set the huge and painfully heavy piece of art I called a pot and found a pit to place it in, one not narrow enough to fail in supporting my delicate vessel. I proceeded to cup my hands around the little creature and I guess the weakness of its venom saved my life as me giving it very little space to move infuriated it and I assume it must have stung me a few times...or maybe it was the thick and course skin of my palms which over time, as much as I regret, has whithered away to leave a smooth and less dense layer of skin. But one like me, with little hope of marriage has just as little use for protective skin. Anyway, I went on to decide that if my little captive was to be of any use to me, it had to be dead.so I drowned it. Without any hesitation I dropped it into my pot and watched it drop to the bottom after it made little attempt to retain its life. Before picking my pot up I fished the scorpion which by now had curled into a hungry moon and held it by its tail, swinging it back and forth on my way home. Not long after my mother set eyes on it the cane set on my back. I was warned not to import diabolic creatures into the home, especially not her husband's, or my husband's for that matter. I uttered a few words about not wanting to get married married after all and was denied at two whole mealtimes, just to demonstrate what a life without a husband would generally consist of...'nothing!' she said. I wasnt scared of that either...now I wish sometimes I had feared 'nothing' amongst other things.

THE QUEENS HEAD

I demand the queens head

yes the royal head I said

I want it safely stacked under my bed

to my nylons i'll have it fed

I demand the queens head

so be obedient to what i've said

and there will be no blood shed

I demand the queens head

I want it brought without the mess

I want it brought in at its best

and then maybe I will go to rest

*GIFT FROM HEAVEN

It gently drips down my body

I can feel it trickling

feel it mingling

between every sense

it trickles down and jumps off the edges

after it gives my body all it pleases

its touch arouses every part of flesh in me

its sad I cannot see what I can feel

eventually it takes me over and I am filled

my skin feels like the petal of a wild lilly

I feel just like a fair maiden

thanks to my friend that falls from heaven

i want

*i want to...

stroke your cheek with my finger tips

to touch them with my moistured lips

to have your eyes as glued to me

as the power of attraction lets them be

to talk to you in ways I can only do

when your stare could almost pierce me through

I want to hold your hand,

rest mine in the middle of your palm

or even get exhausted

so I can rest my forehead on your arm

I want to know you

hold you

tease and squeeze you

anything possible just to please u

and all these things i'd like to do

but not the chance to pull them through

so I sit and wait here patiently

as seeing you remains a fantasy

*

*

I am fearless

I fear not even the biggest

I fear not snakes and bears

or daggers and spears

I fear not the end of the world

or the lion that roars

I do not fear even death itself

coz I know in heaven i'll dwell

there is only 1 I fear apart from God

and that is he who holds my heart

for with that he holds my world

*DARE

He cant get tired of me
not when my finger tips are his source of energy
when my touch does more than realise his fantasies
not when my words take him anywhere he wants to be
not when my body is a temple of mysteries

no he dare not get tired of me
not when I am the one that completes his being
not when I am the prettiest thing he has ever seen
not when he knows he can peacefully sleep
coz he knows i'll be watching over him whilst he dreams
and I think he looks beautiful engorged in the things only he can see
but I know am involved
because I rock his world

and I know he dare not get tired of me
I am the one and only thing he ever needs
because am there regardless of how he feels
and I provide him with all the thrills
needed to distract him from those 'promiscuous' films
*DARE

yes I know he dare not get tired of me
because I make sure to cook his favourite meal
every Sunday
just to keep him from going hungry
so in return he never wants to starve me
when I get those cravings

but the real reason which I see
why he puts up with the stress and insecurities
how he knows that my flaws only make me unique
the reason why this boy just cant dare to get tired of me
is because I love him
and I think we were meant to be

~ YES I DO ~

This is the first poem i am posting on my blog and i chose it quite at random as honestly i really have no preference when it comes to my writing. i write quite differently depending on the emotion i am in and what i am trying to express. this one for example has quite a bit of history and was actually aimed at a particular person. i realise that alot of the things i write are the things i refuse to say to the people its aimed at and even though it might seem ver frustrating some times i think its great if it results in me being creative. anyway i hope you enjoy...

***

Yes I love you,

but am trying to quit it

yes I need you,

but i'd never admit it

yes I wish,

I could kiss

all the bits

I have missed

re-establish our passion

in the fashion

we shared it...naked

yes I wish

I could live

in the days where I was ignorant for It was bliss

and I loved it

yes I would

if I could

do anything I should

to please you

to ease you

just do anything I ought to

just to show you that I want you

want to

unleash you

fill you

not deceive you

its you i'd give my heart to

yes,i long to be in your arms

am missing your cocky charm

yes am missing your kiss on my neck

miss your grip on my leg

miss that face that you make

miss the way that you beg

I miss the way that you wink

and the way that you grin

the way you shock me with your surprise visitings

I miss the way you hug me

the way you kiss me

the way you hold

and touch and try to console me

so dont ask me if I dont miss you

coz I do

though theres one thing I wont ever miss about you

and that is the fact that you make me love you

even when I try not to

by sweetie asantewaa